Have We Forgot About Self-Worth

We live in a society that is plagued with stereotypical perceptions of the “perfect body image”, “lifestyle”, “job”, relationships, etc. Now we know that nothing is perfect, but it’s often hard to see real images of people, relationships and day to day living because of the constant flooding of “enhanced pictures” or embellished lifestyles on the internet. This alone is exhausting to live up too and makes it easy to forget to focus on developing and loving our true selves.

What is self-worth? How does knowing your self- worth impact your life? Self-worth is defined as one who knows their own value. Oh honey….did that you y’all differently like it did us. Specifically, the part about “knowing your own value”. It is about recognizing you are worthy flawed and all nor needing validations from others to confirm your unique greatness. When your sense of self worth is weak then you will find yourself caught in the web of comparing to others and trying to keep up with the Jones….both lose-lose situations.

As women, we often feel undervalued despite the major roles that we play within our families. This is why it is imperative to build your self- worth not based on what you do or who we are to others. It needs to be rooted in simply who you are. See yourself as a gem deserving nothing but the best. Don’t settle for less! Regardless of what you have been through, don’t forget you are valuable. Your journey makes you worthy and only you can fulfill your divine purpose...sounds like you are pretty priceless to us!

10 Important Ways to Use your Voice

1. Know that what you have to say is of value

“What I’ve learned over my years in leadership is, first, to trust that what I feel, know, and see is of value. And second, to learn to speak it in such a way that it’s listened to and acted on. One of the problems with traditional leadership training programs is that they don’t take into account this deep obstacle that many women have: this pervading, yet unconscious feeling within, bolstered by society, that what you have to say really isn’t of value. If family and society tell you it’s unfeminine to be aggressive, to speak up, to have strong opinions, to take up space, then women won’t trust their own voice. To be heard and to be influential, you’ve got to have a way to sing out with passion and love and self-trust—to sing out your song for everyone to hear. Women leaders are at a disadvantage because we are actually taught not to sing out with strength and conviction.”

— Elizabeth Lesser — Author, Cofounder of Omega Institute

Omega Institute

2. Trust your outrage

“Trust your own outrage…. When your gut tells you something is wrong, trust that. And it’s not just for you, it’s for other people who might not be able to speak as loudly or as clearly as you might be able to. Part of your responsibility as a person who cares about people is to trust your own outrage and speak about it.’”

— Courtney E. Martin —

Author, Speaker, Blogger Author, Speaker, Blogger

3. Refuse to be silenced

“I don’t think we can afford to be silent anymore. Where before we could probably be like, “Yeah, I guess I will be quiet because I might lose something,” I think now we have way more to lose than we realize. So that’s what is at stake…. I think it is expensive to be quiet sometimes; it costs us more to be quiet than it does to speak up.”

— Luvvie Ajayi — Writer, Speaker, Activist, Cofounder of The Red Pump Project

4. Don’t worry about being liked

“If women believe that they can be free, that they can have a voice, that they can do whatever they want, and that they have the right and the mandate to fight for it, anything can happen. But part of it is breaking through our own sense of limitation and our fear that if we step forward, people won’t like us…. Give voice to what you know to be true and do not be afraid of being disliked or exiled. I think that’s the hard work of standing up for what you see.”

— Eve Ensler — Playwright, Author and Founder of V-Day

“Every day we have to push forward. Don’t be patient and don’t wait for someone to ask you and don’t think everyone’s going to like you. Because if you’re not pissing someone off, you’re probably not doing your job! And that’s how change happens, because people are bold and audacious.”

— Cecile Richards — Activist, Former President of Planned Parenthood

5. Speak your truth

“I am constantly amazed at how courageous and radical speaking the truth is. The most activist thing you can do is just speak the truth and search for the truth, and just follow that trail.”

— Melissa Etheridge — Singer/Songwriter, Activist n’s Media Center

6. Don’t dismiss your inner voice

“Huge pressures are brought to bear on women to dismiss a truthful voice as stupid or bad or selfish or wrong. We’ve been inducted into a culture that would have us dismiss that voice. What happens is the human voice gets shut down—and that human voice right now is absolutely crucial if humans and the planet and life on earth are going to survive. The good news is that voice is in each of us, and we all know it. The bad news is there are both psychologically and politically huge forces against listening to that voice.”

— Carol Gilligan — Psychologist, Writer

7. Develop courage by standing up for others

“I would encourage us to try our best to develop courage. It’s the most important of all the virtues because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can be anything erratically—kind, fair, true, generous, all that—but to be that thing time after time, you need courage. And we need to develop it in small ways first… so that if you decide, ‘I will not stay in rooms where women are belittled, where races are belittled; I will not take it; I will not sit around and accept the dehumanizing of other human beings.’ If you decide to do that in small ways, and you continue to do it, finally you realize you’ve got so much courage that people want to be around you. They get a feeling that they will be protected in your company.”

— Maya Angelou — Poet, Writer, Civil Rights Activist

8. Be yourself

"Stand firmly in what you know in your heart of hearts. Be exactly who you are, unapologetically and with passion and positivity. Cultivate your inner courage to speak your truth and out of it action comes."

- Elizabeth Lesser -

Arthor and Co-Founder of Omega Institute

9. Don’t be afraid to stand alone

“Be passionate about what you believe in and do not be afraid to stand alone. When you know it’s that important, don’t be afraid. If you feel strongly about a certain position and certain values or a certain view, then you should be able to stand alone.”

— Olympia Snowe — Former Maine Senator

10. Be vigilant about not losing your voice, and help others to do the same

“There is a point, and it’s usually around puberty and when you are becoming a woman, where women do lose their voice. If we could save them the time lost between that time and the time when they start to regain it, imagine the power we would unleash?”

— Pat Mitchell —

Media Executive, Producer, Curator of TEDWomen

Reference: https://whatwillittake.com/inspiration/women-here-are-10-important-ways-to-use-your-voice/

Resolutions with Strategy

Every end of the year we are faced with the daunting question…what are your New Year Resolutions? Ugh…don’t you just hate it! It’s something about that word RESOLUTION that seems so full of unreasonable and self sabotaging fantasies. Like…I’m gonna lose 75 lbs, I’m going change my career, I’m gonna pick up a few exciting hobbies and socialize every chance I get! Yeah right…not gonna HAPPEN…let’s just be REAL!

Most times we put these RESOLUTIONS into the universe only to fail, feel ashamed and then come up with even harder ones to fulfill the next year. What the heck is the problem? Well, resolutions are just “firm decisions to do or not to do something”…that’s it and that’s all! It is missing a few huge components such as GRACE and PLANNING! We don’t factor in unpredictability and it’s common to compose them from a very rigid mindset. Then, we don’t have any clear steps or establish an appropriate plan on how to get there. We’re also very guilty of having too many New Years resolutions and that alone can become overwhelming. So, how do we face the new year with new goals that have adequate intentions and focus?

First, we should minimize the number of resolutions we have. As therapists, we often speak to our clients about setting goals that (1) realistic for you and align with your life (2) sustainable, so that it’s easily incorporated into your daily routine (3) time sensitive. It’s important that when we set resolutions that we see the “finish line” or get to a point in which we can see that changes have occurred.

Secondly, we should develop resolutions that are meaningful instead of putting our energy into superficial ones. Commit to things in life that will make you whole and healed like getting some help, setting boundaries with folks and giving your self permission to be authentically you. Yes, they may be more difficult to achieve but the outcomes will be much more rewarding and long lasting.

So, the new year is here, let’s move full speed ahead with a focus, intent and realistic resolutions that will not only align with our lives but leave lasting and sustainable impacts on our futures. Ready, Set, Go!!!