7 Ways to be a Better Partner

Get more sleep. Taking care of yourself is a win-win for you and your relationship, and sleep is at the top of the list. Not only can sleep deprivation affect your energy, mental alertness, and mood, but it reduces glucose levels, which adversely affects self control (Gailliot & Baumeister, 2007). And self-control plays a big role in relationship success: Those with higher self-control are more able to respond in constructive ways to their partners (Finkel & Campbell, 2001), and the more self-control couples have, the higher their relationship quality tends to be (Vohs, Finkenauer, & Baumeister, 2011).

Take action. Certain behaviors make a difference in relationship happiness. These maintenance behaviors often come naturally, but intentional efforts to engage in them could benefit relationships. Research (Stafford, 2010) underscores the power of these seven behaviors in particular in predicting relationship satisfaction, liking, love, and commitment: Positivity, Understanding, Giving Assurance, Self-Disclosing, Openness, Sharing Tasks and Involve Networks.

Express your Gratitude. Feeling grateful is one thing, but telling your partner is another. Do you express your gratitude? It turns out that sharing your feelings of gratitude is linked to positive partner perceptions and a willingness to voice relationship concerns (Lambert & Fincham, 2011), which helps maintain healthy relationships.

Avoid hunger. New plans for physical health and wellness often involve diet changes (eat more veggies, etc.), but do what you can to avoid hunger. New evidence suggests that restrictive can have a negative effect on relationship quality. When you’re hungry, anger and aggression are more likely (Bushman, DeWall, Pond, & Hanus, 2014); in relationships, these “hangry” moments do little to promote relationship well-being.

Focus on humility. Help your relationship by keeping a check on your ego. Not only are humble people evaluated more positively as potential relationship partners, but humility seems to be an important ingredient for relationship success (Van Tongeren, Davis, & Hook, 2004). It may improve relationships through its association with forgiveness, a powerful tool for healthy relationships.

Spend quality time together. Much anecdotal evidence suggests that spending more time together increases relationship satisfaction, but only recently has research scrutinized whether time really does increase satisfaction, or whether perhaps relationship satisfaction increases time spent together. Contrary to widespread belief, long-distance relationships are no different in their relationship quality (Gulner & Swensen, 1995), despite the idea that (by definition) couples in long-distance relationships spend less time together. The results suggest we might attend more to the quality of the time spent with our partner, rather than the quantity.

Be kind to yourself. To be the best partner you can be, start by being kind to yourself. Scientific evidence is accumulating in support of the idea that self-compassion is a wonderful foundation for a healthy partnership. Self-compassion is a habit of gentleness towards oneself during times of failure, inadequacy, and imperfection. Evidence shows that self-compassion predicts the types of behaviors that translate into healthier relationships, such as offering care and concern for a partner (Neff & Beretvas, 2013). Working on ourselves can benefit our relationships.

Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201501/7-simple-ways-you-can-become-better-partner